Did you know that according to the latest statistics in the Netherlands, 54% of managers in companies are now women? Many in the work force have noticed, and at the same time it is putting the long advocated movement of equal rights for women in the workplace in a bit of a funk.
To be fair, this shift happened in a very short time, a bit like an earthquake instantaneously shifting terrain, which by the way we will be seeing more of as rapid shifts make old structures fall apart.
But what is interesting is there appears to be a stream of men that are unaccounted for in the national statistics. They can not be found in employment registers, social services or government benefits databases. It’s like they completely vanished from society. Why?
One reason to me is similar to the Hikikomori, which is the phenomenon where it is estimated that about half a million of the Japanese youth have become socially recluse and don’t leave home.
Like the bees disappearing in Colony Collapse Disorder, this is fundamentally what is happening to parts of the consciousness of masculinity, and in particular to men who have been identifying strongly with defined structures of who they think they are, that are not actually who they are.
Loss of traditional roles
Men are losing their traditional role as a provider as women are taking care of themselves by becoming more independent, self-sufficient and self-sustaining and are therefore no longer “in need” of men for any of these reasons.
This is putting a strain on polarity (attraction), because much of what was driving primal attraction between men and women I believe was rooted in the dynamics of men being looked up to as being providers, which is now no longer a sustainable basis of true intimacy.
Men in particular who have built their lives on their careers and based their worth on money, status, power and control, are noticing these are losing meaning and traction. My feeling is that many men withdraw from the sheer humiliation that feels like defeat and powerlessness to the male ego and leads to a feeling of meaninglessness, because they perceive they are no longer useful or needed.
All aspects that the male ego finds incredibly hard to endure.
It’s safe to say, masculinity is going through an existential crisis of loneliness and meaning within this liminal (transitional) space. It is a time of death and rebirth, surrendering, opening and trusting that can lead to deep despair and isolation that is uniquely male.
The consciousness of competition and control is disappearing, and those that are losing their sense of status will begin to feel very unstable, as their foundation is not built on truth and it will no longer be supported. Truth is the only foundation that is stable to built your foundation upon.
This withdrawal time, especially during the corona period, can be used to distract from your inner process or to find who you are, become stronger in your own identity and to rebuild your foundation with a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.
Inspired insights
The first take-away is that men who feel they are losing power in traditional masculine areas of life can regain traction and momentum if they embrace their natural role of being an empowered man, and consciously choose to step onto their path of self-discovery and heal their inner wounds.
The second insight, if you are a man that has a tendency like me to ask the outer world what it wants from you, to quit asking questions like “what do women want?”, “how can I make her happy?” that I see frequently in men’s groups. It’s simply the wrong question. Start asking the empowering questions “what do I want” and “who do I want to be?” and go from there.
This is about learning a new form of self-responsibility that is not about carrying burdens or deriving your worth from status, achievements or from being needed (false ego). Being needed applies to your truth and gifts expressed in the world, to be of service from a strong state of self.
This is about learning the truth of who you are underneath the bullshit that you have been conditioned to take on by culture, religion and upbringing that you got manipulated by that made you lose yourself so much that you couldn’t even feel or see your own path anymore!
This is not about needing to have a job or be a provider so that you finally matter or get what you want because you have proven that you are good enough and people will like you. Too much weight has been inappropriately put on in the wrong places from societal and relational expectations that kept you away from your own truth, which is the only thing that matters.
Only then will you discover who you are as you made the conscious choice to put yourself first. This is about healing your relationship to yourself, your self-definition, realising that nothing or nobody can take that away from you.
When you begin doing that, you begin waking up to how you have lived in this matrix of illusion that has been a massive mirror for this inner facade that has nothing to do with what you truly want or who you really can be.
Now your life truly begins. Welcome to the path of exiting the matrix through de-conditioning!
