Are you afraid of going crazy, psychotic and unstable when you open the door to feeling all of life?
I often meet women that are afraid of their own power (intuition and emotion) and fear hurting others when they express their truth, but underneath they actually fear going crazy, psychotic and unstable. Many also connect to other realities or people in this reality, where energies are picked up from those who did in fact go mentally unstable and insane.
Feeling all this may bring up primal survival fears, that the world will end, fear of persecution, execution, punishment, being outcast, because this is what happened to highly intuitive and sensitively attuned women in the past. It is in fact still happening through institutionalisation and medication, which is another socially accepted version of stifling intuition and emotion.
What I can say to those of you who have amazing intuitive gifts yet feel you are going crazy is to know you are not going crazy, but these energies are coming through you and reveal your resistance to opening to them. One way to work with this is to accept your shadow (your fear) that you are unstable and crazy, because awakening feminine energy is unpredictable, chaotic, all over the place and uncontrollable. And much of our society finds that hard to be with, as they are not comfortable with these energies, which leaves little room for you to practice opening up and loving this in yourself.
So, of course you fear hurting others and fear becoming and being labeled as crazy. You are in touch with collective femininities wounds of being persecuted, executed, locked up and burned at the stake, and you carry your own persecutor and oppressor that tries to control and suppress your feminine energy the way history has.
When you embrace this part of your shadow and can surrender to feeling what comes up, you will have made the first step to creating internal safety that comes from strength, rather than from fear.
Safe sexual expression
Another sign as a woman that you are in this place, is when you feel you give off ‘wrong signals’ to men. Let’s decode this together, because your signaling system is perfectly matching your reality, but is now in part reflecting a state of unsafety from past wounding which is not what you are wanting.
This is about having withdrawn your power out of unsafety, which happened because of boundary violation in some form that many women have dissociated from feeling as what happened was so intense and unsafe that they have packaged it far away from their conscious mind. Only thereby it opens them up to repeated attack and abuse and the experience of being misread.
Another aspect if you are one of those women, is that your sexual energy is turned “on” in relation to that abuse. Often they want to be able to be sexual, but without attracting unwanted attention. However, many men read that energy as seduction and then state they are “asking for it” and consequently prey and act on them.
To be direct, this is about many men not having learnt how to be with sexual energy in themselves without needing or wanting to act on it. This is another aspect of the experience of signals being misread. I will be writing more on this in a future post on sexuality and needs. Stay tuned!
Men who are afraid of their power carry a prominent shadow of being an abuser, and from that place of repression interpret these signals the need for rescuing, which is not inaccurate as it reflects the state of fear and victimisation on both sides. And yet, it comes from the same fear of showing up in their power without being an abuser or “taking”.
Acting from that energy however now becomes a “take” in the exchange that doesn’t feel good, which is what these women pick up quicker than men who prefer to skip learning that lesson that women are teaching if they are willing to take the class. I know, because I’ve been in that class many times. It takes conscious effort and practice to learn to stay present with ourselves and listen to especially the messages that we don’t want to see or hear.
Relaxed state of heart open presence
Practicing being with all the energy that is happening in these situations without taking, needing or doing anything other than being present with an open generous heart, is one of the greatest practices men can undertake to contribute to a safer and more loving world.
This is also where our over-masculined society makes it easier to put this craziness and fear onto women, who are in touch with this more, while many now remain open to abuse. Men have collectively not yet accumulated enough strength and stability to fill this gap with strong and safe leadership from an open heart with self-love and compassion.
Conclusions
It it is for each of us individually to feel the feelings that are showing up for us. For men, it’s often the sheer fear of consequences we think will happen when we own and take responsibility for our own power. We fear losing ourselves to overwhelming emotion, which seems greater than the potential benefits that stepping into that level of unknown may provide.
This is one reason much of society has dissociated from feeling, having checked out, numbed themselves and now remain addicted to distractions in attempts to not go there. But it all comes down to safety of opening and being shown that there is a way.
You see, power is not about ‘RA RA RA’, power comes from relaxation into opening that allows for the essence of who we uniquely are to come forth. That is where vulnerability becomes a strength instead of the illusion of weakness that it is perceived to be.
This is about claiming back our power by healing our relationship to ourselves. When people talk about “claiming your power”, it’s vague. “Shine your light”… what does that mean?
It means, taking responsibility for where you are at and practice opening to feeling the emotions and receive the energetic qualities needed to heal your relationship with yourself. This is not a process that can be done alone, we need others, we need models, mirrors and safe experiences to deeper our connections to each other to grow and heal.
