In Part 1 of this two-part blog, I mentioned how embracing our shadow is the first step to integrating feminine awakening energies. The second step lies in the awakening of our masculine energy.
Role-models
In order to embrace and provide spaces for these awakening feminine energies to flourish, what is needed are strong masculine role-models.
There is a great lack of examples and role-models of supportive, decisive, compassionate, awake, action-driven masculine energy, that is probably the single strongest need in our culture today.
Masculinity provides the river-banks to contain and move the strong streams (femininity) along, without suppression or control, yet with direction and leadership. Otherwise feminine energy either withdraws and waits (runs dry) or floods (overwhelm and is drained from being unsupported).
This is also why awareness of energetic boundaries is a deeply masculine quality that in my opinion we must all master, and why boundary violation currently is such a big part of our society. This lack of energetic awareness represents the “breakdown” of emergent healthy masculine energy.
This lack of healthy masculine energy leaves a void which is filled instead with fear and desperation as men and women are living, breathing and working in their lives mostly as addictions or distractions from themselves to compensate for this need that most are not even fully aware of having.
For men, it creates feelings of being lost, alienated, not knowing who they are and what their purpose is, and often leads to seeking love, attention and recognition from women for example, to fill this void.
There is a grand perfection and timing to why this is all happening. You see, it’s easy to judge these dynamics, especially in romantic relationships I notice how quickly we are to judge and move away from whatever doesn’t feel good that society has deemed as signals that things aren’t going well.
Yet where is the greater love for the perfection that is playing out in all the learning that is available and all the goodness that is there? Isn’t life about learning, aren’t there no mistakes? This is where compassion, perseverance while also taking responsibility comes in.
Reclaiming masculinity
Men’s groups are a great initiative, but often lack the necessary role-models.
Men are often in their heads even more confounded and confused by their own sense of lostness than women are. And when they do have direction, it doesn’t mean they know how to be emotionally or energetically open and lead other men on their path.
This gap was a mirror to show me my purpose to bring out a new masculine blueprint of being, created from the qualities that I see were missing in my life that I want to bring to others. To be this role-model, I need to live and breathe these qualities for myself, as nobody can give them to me.
And, what I really resent is how many healers and helpers in my opinion often mislead people by presenting themselves as having solutions, while not at all having walked the inner journey to awakening for themselves, and often as a result disappoint in the results they claim to provide.
If you have not lived through what you proclaim you can help others with, you have no right to call yourself a guide or a role-model.
That’s deception. Because of my trigger, it’s also my shadow of not living up to promises and creating false expectations, and why I have not spent the last 15 years of my life partying, accumulating material wealth or having vacations, but rather 100% prioritise my path of doing what it takes to get to where I want to be in my process of awakening, even if it means living off bare minimum and subsistence levels without any material luxury or breaks, which it has.
Women and masculinity
Without healthy masculinity from men, many women run masculine patterns of independence and achievement. Although this is an important step towards independence, it is simultaneously distorting when it moves them further away from their essence, which is not about hard work in providing, carrying energetic loads, or pushing for accomplishments and achievements.
I am not saying that women should not accomplish or achieve, but that the weight of balance in being their essence is severely distorted. Many women often deeply know they are off, but feel they have no choice. I feel the hearts of many women that are not happy with themselves, and they are often unconscious of why that is. This is the reason, and the way out is actually daring to go deeper within.
Especially strong women need to recognise their innate need and longing for strong masculine energy that they now can’t let in by their state of hyper-independence. At the same time, women collectively needed to become more masculine as it was a survival need to integrate any version of masculinity for themselves.
Men on the other hand fear the illusion of being useless and having nothing to give that women need, because their core of providing as a man is being lived out by women, as it is not being reclaimed.
Men also have a need of experiencing their impact on opening women to their hearts and the joy, love and ecstasy that the feminine shows them in return. This need remains deeply unmet for men and women too in this state of hyper-independence, as by being disconnected from their own disconnect, women can’t feel they even have this need and will continue to protect themselves from such opening, out of safety. Yet this is another big reason for unconscious suffering of many women and men in society today.
And it is understandable given the amount of abuse and suffering women have collectively experienced which lies at the root of hyper-independence. It requires an equal amount of leadership, safety and compassion from role models of healthy masculinity that consistently show up, before femininity itself is safe enough to open again to trust and reveal herself in her awakened state of being. This takes patience, generosity and acceptance, and is first and foremost an inner process.
Conclusions
What we all need, whether we recognise it or not, are safe spaces of nurturing connection to unpack and unwind from the pressures of wounding and disconnect. We need deeply connected experiences with each other that reveal that we are not alone and help us remember who we are by getting in touch with the deeper interconnectedness. We also need to rewire and heal our relationship to ourselves by learning to love and embrace our raw truth so we can live it out more deeply and fully.
All of us are in need of healthy examples of masculine energy in order to provide structure and support to the overwhelming awakening of feminine energy that is coming through us. These are the spaces I am bringing, providing depth to the opening and awakening of feminine energy. This is what my masculine core wants and what my soul brings to me each and every day in learning experiences. It is the gift I am fortunate enough to have had tremendous practice and experience in developing.
Inspired insights
The first inspired insight is about shadow. We can’t stand in our power when we are still running away from our fears. And from that place our power distorts and becomes abusive and unsafe, as we are hiding and suppressing our real truth from ourselves and from the world.
The second inspired insight is to become aware of the need for and safety of masculine holding. Creating containment is creating energetic boundaries which provides safety to feminine emergent energy. Feminine energy has experienced much neglect and abuse from unhealthy masculinity and is re-learning and re-wiring how to trust and open up again. At the core, the feminine wants to experience being lovable as it is without having to do, change, hold or sacrifice anything.
The third inspired insight is to realise there is an internal balancing act between our inner masculine and feminine forces going on as we grow stronger within ourselves and our true identity. The awakening process demands flexibility, openness, containment and much compassion and self-love as we go deeper within. The more opening our soul brings through us, the stronger the polarity between these masculine and feminine forces will become for us to be with and live out. This becomes positive tension when we are in deep allowance of these forces, and negative tension when we collapse and breakdown. The key lies in not judging ourselves in that space which gives us the opportunity to develop love and self-compassion that is the very gift that life wants us to learn in this space.
The third inspired insight is that as men we need to learn to surrender. Paradoxically, our soft power needs to come through in order for our masculinity to shine. Under the collective pressure men equate surrender with fear of caving in from perceived weakness. This creates tension-resistance dynamics that mirror their very fears about feminine energy through women that then become unstable, chaotic, out of control and unpredictable around them, and then think they are going crazy.
