As my first blog entry, I am introducing an acknowledgement of myself for how much impact my core wound of not being seen and heard made on the choices in my life for living true to myself.
In fact, this is why for many years I did not start my own business in the area of personal growth, having silently remained a deeply unfulfilled yet intellectually stimulated and well equipped individual.
What are my realisations and revelations? Well, that the wounding of having my heart dismissed, my feelings disregarded and disqualified, cut more deeply into my reality than I supposed.
A wounded child living inside that we are not consciously in connection with and acknowledging creates an identity that finds strategies to attain love and attention in sneaky and manipulative ways. Our own self ends up hijacking our path of showing up fully as we are meant to.
Our basic human needs need to be met one way or the other. If not above ground (consciously, openly and directly) then underground (through a shadow self of addictions, attention seeking etc.)
Self-acknowledgement as the key
Nothing changes until we decide to take our power back, which requires acknowledgement as a first step. Tremendous power and life-force will be unlocked from the simple acknowledgement of who we are with this wound rather than from it, meaning from a place of feeling our greater self.
We can only use trapped life-force when we become aware of what is trapped, which happens when we shine our own light on this place.
The key lies in ‘specificity’ as you cannot transform what you are unaware of. Unfortunately, the very nature of this wound can make us feel powerless, unloved and alone, because there is in fact deeply unfelt and unintegrated hurt that we may even feel is not our responsibility to have carried in the first place, let alone to have to relive it. This resistance makes it harder to move through.
The awareness here needs to come in that this tendency to neglect ourselves is part of the very nature of the wound and is not our fault, but is our responsibility to accept and overcome in order to change our life.
Not seeing or hearing our own cry-outs comes part and parcel with this wound. How could we, when we have not been modeled how to feel into and listen to our selves and provide a safe, nurturing and loving space. It all ends up frustratingly perpetuating disconnect and internal separation.
When we choose to self-acknowledge and even applaud ourselves for the goodness that we really are, which is a form of inner leadership, our innermost self heals and brings us self-empowerment. This is why I chose to write from this realisation as my starting point on this journey of awakening with you.
Many people carry the energy frequency of this early childhood wound. I can feel it in them as I can feel the same in myself.
Have you noticed how many people feel like cardboard cut-outs, or as I refer to them, the walking dead. It’s because they are so disconnected from their own pain, their juice (life-force) is perpetually stuck in their disconnect that they are not even aware of themselves, let alone how much this influences every aspect of their lives. Ouch… to me being devoid of life force is living hell at it’s worst.
When an illusion is held around this wound’s existence, which is the lack of acknowledgment, it further keeps us in fear. The fear of re-experiencing the childhood pain of rejection, abandonment, being neglected, ignored and misunderstood. This then form another layer of defense to avoid having to show up fully as ourselves in all the magnificence that we are.
And this comes at a great price. It keeps you in a place of never knowing what’s on the other side, as fear maintains a firm hold over your reality.
Inspired Insights
Here is a reminder how I created this first blog from the very fuel of my resistance to show up. As for me this wound has been part of a massive 35 years of suppression. And if I can show up, so can you!
Our power doesn’t lie in the future, nor in the (pain of the) past, but the past does have bearing over your ‘now’ state. So, reclaiming your power means acknowledging yourself in this moment of now.
That’s my first inspired insight. Can you harnass the fuel of all that is holding you back by using it to take action in this present moment? Because this present moment is all that matters.
My second inspired insight is that you do this acknowledgment by taking full responsibility for your life right now, so your spirit (the greater force in you) can truly propel you forward, but this time rather than with your pain, with all your fuel behind you as momentum, I promise you!
